The interesting thing about camoflage is that you wear it to disappear - to blend in with the surroundings - to not be noticed. When worn correctly you should not stick out from your environment, but literally become a part of it.
The irony is that now we are nothing like that. Anywhere we go - we do not blend. We are not invisible. We are noticed - by everyone.
Amazing how a tiny little patch can do that.
Gotta love big brother - loves his sister, patch or not!
The first few times I went out with Julia when she was patched I definitely noticed the stares, the double takes, the lingering glances.
The first few Sundays at church we got a lot of questions and we patiently answered them. Most people already knew because our church family had been praying for Julia and for her surgery. Now at church no one notices or comments. I love that. I love that our church family has accepted her and she is now "just Julia" there.
But at Wal-Mart, the mall, even the doctor's office - we get questions, comments, glances. Some are pure curiousity. People genuinely want to know what is wrong, how we knew something was wrong, why she wears a patch.
Others are know-it-alls and assume that she had tear duct surgery (what?) or that she simply has a lazy eye. (Then of course they ask how we knew she had a lazy eye at only 4 months old).
When they find out it was a cataract - they are amazed that infants can have them. And the reactions we get when people hear she wears a contact! Yikes! You'd think we were vain or torturous!
I don't know if I will ever get used to the staring and questions. I liked it much better when we blended into our surroundings. Maybe with time we will blend again. Maybe we won't blend, but others will blend and we won't notice their stares. Maybe if she wore a camo patch. :)
LOL...I really wish I had some camo patches left....they would totally be in the mail to you!! If it gives you hope....everyone used to stare at Nicole and ask questions. Now that she is 17 months old and running like a crazy girl no one really stares or bothers or double takes. I mean people look. I think it is human nature. But then they move on. Maybe cause it's easy to tell now that she is a super duper normal kid. Maybe it's cause I'm too busy to notice people's stares cause I'm chasing after the two of them. Either way it's gotten much easier. It will for you too!! Oh and I can't wait for the new patch styles!!
ReplyDeleteJulia is so strong---just like her amazing mother.
ReplyDeleteI second Karla's comment (and KB's comment too! ;) For some reason in the beginning maybe because I was still sensitive about everything? It seemed the public was just overly curious, overly rude, and all over us. But now either I am just used to it or because he is older and it's not as weird on a toddler than an infant, I don't even notice the pubic anymore. I can't even remember the last time someone asked me about his Eye. Where as before it was every time we went out. I know it's hard... you just want people to see her the way you do... perfectly Julia. And they will, just give it time. Till then just think of a quick and easy answer that you are comfortable with and go with it. And repeat repeat repeat... Or just literally ignore them!
ReplyDeleteI second and third all of the above comments! It does get easier, and sometimes that makes it hard when you go out of your normal circle... when people who haven't seen you start to ask again. But the response gets much easier with practice! She is beautiful- patch and all!
ReplyDeleteI CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD STARTED A BLOG!!!! I am glad I found it. This is a tough place to be. When babies are so little, people want to see the newborn in the car seat or your arms. Then when they lay eyes on our kiddos face, they can't help themselves, they have to ask, assume, and whatever else. It is unexpected for them. I hated going out to town with Austin.
ReplyDeleteI had to answer the "question" over and over. It varied slightly, but the basis of the question always stung, What is wrong with your baby? It got soooo old.
But now my answer is short and most of the time I don't stick around long enough for them to ask another one. Blake, my oldest son, is hilarious. He will tell everyone that asks, "We get asked that ALLLL the time, he needs it to help him see." Imagine a seven year old saying this to a 30 something year old with an exaggerated eye roll and great patience in his voice. It is great. I love taking Blake with me. The adults are always taken back, because they were asking me, and got schooled by a 7 year old. :)