We are waiting again. Waiting and waiting and waiting. I am tired of waiting. It seems like I want time to go faster so I can be on the other side of this "eye thing." But I don't want time to go faster because I want to soak up every moment of my little girl being a baby.
We went to the eye doc today. The great news is that her eye has healed wonderfully from the surgery and all the inflammation is gone. Which means no more drops! So the contact is in and we start patching tomorrow. During the last surgery the doc "opened" her pupil a bit so now it is nice and round. It is still smaller than the other eye, but looks so good. The only down side is that now it seems like it is harder to see if her contact is still in. Or maybe I am just out of practice since she hasn't worn it in 7 weeks!
The bad news is that she has developed a pretty bad case of esotropia. That is when the eye "wanders" toward the center. I knew her eye was turning in quite a bit (see previous post). But, even the doc was surprized at how bad it has gotten. So we are going to see if now that she has the contact and can patch if the turn will correct. If it doesn't, she will be having another surgery.
That's where the waiting comes in. Nothing we can do for the next 8 weeks except patch and wait. It is so hard to be constantly on edge, worrying and watching to make sure a tiny contact stays in a little eye. I know losing a contact is not the end of the world, but I feel responsible for constantly checking, checking, checking to make sure it is in.
I tend to be stressed and anxious and I am tired of feeling that way. I want to enjoy my baby - all her milestones (rolling, crawling, babbling) and not worry about her "eye." So I have a new goal. I plan on trying to stay in the moment and just enjoy the time with my family and try not to worry about the next appointment. So those of you that see me in person can help me with this!
I find the greatest struggle with the EYE is trying hard to not it consume me. I want to stay focused on the sheer awesomeness that is my kid and my life, but I never seem to be able to stay there. Then, I feel guilty because I should be able to accept this, bit it just really difficult to be constantly worried, yet constantly happy at the same time. So, I say, Worry away! And, don't worry about worrying! Your worry is because you love her and want to make sure all of her moments are perfect:)
ReplyDeleteThis post reminds me of my three words I associate with Easton's "rock" Eye... Balance, Strength, and Endurance. Balance relates to Melissa comment worry vs. happy it's hard to do both at the same time. So think in terms of balancing both, let yourself do both. Strength will come with each moment, each day, each week that passes. Endurance, this is a long road we are on... 8 weeks will be 8 years before you are on the other side of the Eye. You are right stay in the moment!!! The next 8 weeks is your summer, EMBRACE it! Waiting means Living... with the Eye.
ReplyDeleteI always feel like I am waiting. I always feel like the eye consumes my life and his as well. Hope you enjoy your summer to the fullest. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is such a hard balance... Amanda and Melissa say it much better than me. Give yourself time for all feelings/stresses... It is all worth it in the end!! And we are always here for you!
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