Another appointment...another surgery

Yes folks, it is true.  Julia is having another surgery.  This is her third eye surgery and her fourth time under anesthetic.  One time under anesthetic was an EUA (exam under anesthesia) and ear tubes.  That doesn't count as surgery, or does it?  Heck, I am counting it.  My brave girl has been through too much.  She deserves every badge of honor she can get.

So here is what happened.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that her right eye was starting to turn in again.  I would stare and stare and try to get her to look straight at me to see if it would turn.  I convinced myself that I was just being a neurotic imom.  Then when our daycare provider mentioned that she had seen her eye turn, I knew I wasn't being neurotic.

So I called her normal eye doc.  The call I got back from the nurse was that he would feel more comfortable if I saw the doc that did her surgeries.  That makes you feel good, doesn't it?

So we went.  We saw an eye muscle specialist and then the surgeon.  The consensus was that it was time for eye muscle surgery (strabismus surgery). 

Insert imom freak out right here.

I have this bad habit of not panicking until I leave the doctor's office and stew on the info for about 24 hours.  I think in the office I am just shell shocked at hearing she needs surgery and can't even think of what questions to ask.  So I followed up with an email to her regular eye doc (who assured me that her surgeon is awesome and talented and he trusts him) and then called the nurse to ask a few more questions.

Now I am satisfied that she needs the surgery and it is the right time, just nervous about my baby going through this again.

You see, the other surgeries she was 9 weeks, 5 1/2 months and 9 months.  So I just handed her over.  She wasn't really clingy yet.  Don't get me wrong.  It is still amazingly hard to hand over your baby knowing that she is going under anesthetic.  But, I know this time she will freak out.  Hopefully I can walk her back so she isn't traumatized by being carried away by a nurse.

I am also happy that the recovery for this surgery doesn't require an eye shield or intense drops.  That is a relief.

So she is scheduled for Feb. 5th.  We will go the week before for new measurements (they measure the degree of turn to know how much to adjust the eye muscles).

I have already decided that she needs new pj's and a new lovey for surgery day.  She deserves something for going through all this craziness.  She may not understand presents, but I know she will like a new, soft lovey.

After surgery she will get checked for a new prescription and probably get new glasses.  And we will keep patching and patching.  (hopefully we will leave patching hell soon)

So mark your calendars and say a prayer for us on Feb. 5th.  And afterwards she will look straight at me with both eyes!

Can you tell I am trying to be the "positive, I'm not scared at all" Mom?  I may be keeping it together outside, but inside I am terrified.

Second opinion

Julia saw a new PO today - he was terrible. He was pretty rough with her and actually jammed her head into the slit lamp machine because he portable one was broken! Needless to say, I don't think I will be going back.

But here is the craziness - he is getting a completely different prescription than my original doc. He is saying that Julia's aphakic eye is only a 14.5, not a 21.5 like originally thought. Because the number is so low, he didn't recommend an IOL at this time (duh). He also said that her non-aphakic eye is farsighted at 4.5. This is the first that I have heard of any correction needed in her good eye. Kind of threw me for a loop. So he is recommending glasses for both eyes, aggressive patching and come back in a month. He thinks the eye turn is worse because she needs correction in her good eye.

So now I am confused and wondering how the two different docs could have such different prescriptions. He said it was okay to do glasses and not contacts - but I thought contacts were the "gold standard" for aphakic kids. Could her prescription be diffferent because her pressure went up to 22? He didn't even say anything about the pressure, but he probably didn't realize that her pressure was a 6 at the last surgery.

So we are seeing our normal PO tomorrow and I am going to fess up and tell him I got a second opinion and see what he thinks of this prescription. I definitely think contacts are going to be the way to go but I am curious to see what he thinks of her "good" eye needing correction.  The bummer is that I just spent almost 300 dollars on a pair of glasses that may now be useless.  I guess I can just have new lenses put in the frames.

Wish us luck tomorrow as we see good ole' Dr. H!

More waiting.

We are waiting again.  Waiting and waiting and waiting.  I am tired of waiting.  It seems like I want time to go faster so I can be on the other side of this "eye thing."  But I don't want time to go faster because I want to soak up every moment of my little girl being a baby.

We went to the eye doc today.  The great news is that her eye has healed wonderfully from the surgery and all the inflammation is gone.  Which means no more drops!  So the contact is in and we start patching tomorrow.  During the last surgery the doc "opened" her pupil a bit so now it is nice and round.  It is still smaller than the other eye, but looks so good.  The only down side is that now it seems like it is harder to see if her contact is still in.  Or maybe I am just out of practice since she hasn't worn it in 7 weeks!

The bad news is that she has developed a pretty bad case of esotropia.  That is when the eye "wanders" toward the center.  I knew her eye was turning in quite a bit (see previous post).  But, even the doc was surprized at how bad it has gotten.  So we are going to see if now that she has the contact and can patch if the turn will correct.  If it doesn't, she will be having another surgery. 

That's where the waiting comes in.  Nothing we can do for the next 8 weeks except patch and wait.  It is so hard to be constantly on edge, worrying and watching to make sure a tiny contact stays in a little eye.  I know losing a contact is not the end of the world, but I feel responsible for constantly checking, checking, checking to make sure it is in.

I tend to be stressed and anxious and I am tired of feeling that way.  I want to enjoy my baby - all her milestones (rolling, crawling, babbling) and not worry about her "eye."  So I have a new goal.  I plan on trying to stay in the moment and just enjoy the time with my family and try not to worry about the next appointment. So those of you that see me in person can help me with this!